We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung—about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin**
The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson
In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty, Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty, Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z
Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
4.) John Holmes
Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo
Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? (Link NSFW)
Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? (Link NSFW)
6.) Milton Berle
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain
His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee
Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra
Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette
Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson
"He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘Jumbo.'"
"He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘Jumbo.'"
11.) Errol Flynn
He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano. A classical pianist!
He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano. A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods
That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.Far as I'm concerned,this Trump Supporting racist prick probability is small like his hero Trump.
That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.Far as I'm concerned,this Trump Supporting racist prick probability is small like his hero Trump.
13.) Colin Farrell
It looks like a baby's arm. (Link NSFW)
It looks like a baby's arm. (Link NSFW)
14.) Peter Andre
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides
The girls on Metal Sludge—a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
The girls on Metal Sludge—a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal
The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza
He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J
Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather
The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex
It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt.
**This list is not compiled by size order.
Discussion
moosepuggleTracie Egan Morrissey1/24/12 10:08pm"It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt." - Tracie Egan MorrisseyWell, I'm going to be the iconoclast here and say that, yes, size matters to me, and quite a bit. I suppose I have somewhat of a fetish for large penises, so I have a hard time believing women who say they "don't like" big penises, because "they hurt". Comments like that make me think that the opining woman is trying to signal to her audience that she has a tight vagina and doesn't sleep around, and that she would rather be quietly dissatisfied with her boyfriend's average size than to seem to espouse the same kind of body objectification heaped on women. Alternatively, maybe she's just never been with a large penis that was attached to a man who knew how to really get her worked up before trying to enter.(And, since I'm sure someone will make this assumption: I am a gym rat, so I do a lot of intense core work. This tones and works all those down-there muscles, too. So, no, my preference for large penises is not because my vagina is an airplane hangar. Moving on)I'm not saying that men should feel bad about a physical trait that they cannot change; obviously, penis size is not the only criteria by which to judge a (male) human being. But I don't think we should lie to ourselves and each other (especially when it falls under anti-slut signaling behavior), or sacrifice our pleasure, in order to hold on to a narrow definition of feminism.Reply
smoke&watermoosepuggle3/13/18 1:35pmIt’s great to know that your experience with large penises has been positive. It is also extraordinarily strange that you think your experience should somehow equate to other peoples’ experiences. That’s... a touch on the narcissistic side. I’m not saying that to be mean; just an observation.Reply
PaintedTrollopTracie Egan Morrissey12/24/09 3:49pmGene Simmons had a sex tape - and from it we learned that he's awful in bed, and not well hung.Reply
Beat GirlTracie Egan Morrissey5/28/09 5:16pmThis post lets the point of Jezebel down, for me. I am not snarking on Trace because she's done the cool thing and qualified her stance on this topic, but I feel it better suited to her personal blog than this one. If we preach against the deconstruction of women to their parts, the participation of gawking at men in the same way is nothing greater than hypocrisy.Reply
chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfishBeat Girl5/29/09 3:02am@TXcatwoman: I'm not entirely surprised. My female friends are much more open about discussing and comparing things like that with one another, and much raunchier about graphic discussions of sex and body parts. Again, totally anecdotal, but guys don't do that, at least in my experience. Maybe some subconscious homophobia factors into the equation? Not entirely sure.Reply
ayaka_is_outtoTracie Egan Morrissey5/28/09 11:59pmMeh not impressed it's all about whether you're a 'grow-er' or a 'show-er'. For example a 11" flaccid one that only 'grows' by 1% can be comparable to a guy with an average 6-7" that grows by 80%. It's not about what's all out there.Reply
Nancy LorenzTracie Egan Morrissey5/29/09 1:26amNo Sly Stallone? And apparently David Tennant has a big one, but it must be a grower, or the stages are cold in the UK cause the pictures I saw were pretty regular.I slept with a man with a huge 8 incher once. Wow. Only time I came without clitoral stimulation. Wouldn't want to do it on a regular basis, though. I walked like a cowboy for days!Nope, not a size queen! LOL!Reply
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