A Tale of A Too Big A Dick

Small Penises

Serious discussions about small penis syndrome, ways to cope with it, natural penis enlargement,
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Friday, August 6, 2010
Cockadoodle DOO! A Tale of A Too Big A Dick
So you have a small penis, a shriveled eel, a slightly overgrown clitoris, a dried up beef jerky, then you probably exhibit symptoms of small penis humiliation. Look at the bright side, your dick could be the exact size of that of Napoleon's. Who knows, when you die your "Mr. big inch" might be displayed in the U.S Department of Strange Relics, right next to the Salzburg cube or the Coso artifact. So you get humiliated in the locker room, public swimming pool, by your friends, your girlfriend, even your heartless wife. So what! Embrace that little prick, show him you got his back with your witty mind and quick tongue. I'm gonna be honest, a small cheesy worm is a handicap but if you got some looks then things ain't looking so bad in Dicklessville. To paraphrase K.J Dover "if a big penis goes with a hideous face and a small penis with a handsome face, it is the small penis which is admired."

I once had a this friend during my college years in Bologna, Italy. He was an exchange student from some remote Spanish town. His name was Goyo but wanted to be called Diego. I met him through a friend at an Irish pub. He offered to pay for all the drinks that afternoon so i decided to stick around. Ugly bastard he was, probably the second on my list of the five ugliest people i ever encountered. But he was tall and he had a cool southern Spanish accent. After the first 4 pints, he started talking about penis sizes. I was reluctant to even start that discussion with him, but I figured since he was paying for the drinks and i would probably never see him ever again after this, I indulged in the conversation. He right away told me his penis was 10 inches long. I don't remember anything else from that conversation. I was too busy in my head picturing myself with a platypus hanging between my legs. All I can remember him saying after wards is that he fucked half the girls in his home town and in the surrounding villages up in the mountains. After several visits to the loo (dunny for you Australians and latrine for you military guys)

I realized it was getting dark. I wanted to excuse myself but the ugly fucker didn't want to let me go. Lets fast forward to the real deal. Its around 1am, we come out of a disco bar. I'm drunk as hell but i can hold myself together. Diego is actually following 2 girls that he was trying to hit on back at the disco bar. I feel like a stalker, he feels invincible with his monsterous penis. The women sense they are being followed and they play along. I start singing "rule Britannia" and i ain't no Brit. Diego is out of control at this point and he is right up the girls' asses telling them step by step what he wants to do to them. The girls don't pay him any attention they just giggle. Then all of a sudden they stop. Diego tells me, "oh now we got them". They both turn around and look at Diego. Then one of the girls finally open's her mouth and says, "I wouldn't want to sleep with you even if you can pinpoint the G-spot on a map, you are so ugly but it compliments your words." After a brief pause, she continued, "No wonder you have to beg for sex, look at you, you are hideous, the only kind of sex you can find is paid sex now leave us alone, go home and put on some makeup or buy a mask," and she cursed something in German to him.

And this point I was laughing my ass off. I felt sorry that a guy should go through such humiliation, but he kinda deserved it. And I really didn't care. In the meantime, Diego was chewing his gum and nodding his head vigorously while she was bashing his ego senselessly. Right before the girls thought it was over and they can make their way back home, Diego pulled down his pants and displayed his glorious anaconda to them. I was looking the girls straight in the face. The expression on their faces was that of shock and bewilderment. One of the girls even let out a gentle scream. Diego looked at them and said, "Now, are Hitler's daughters ready for some serious damage". He went on to saying" I'm going to shove this in your pussy and its going to come out of your mouth and your friend can suck the tip of my penis in the meantime. Don't worry I will give you girls equal attention."

Diego spent the next 6 months in an Italian prison. I only visited him once. I bought him 2 packs of Marlboro, that was the least i could do for the free alcohol he treated me to 6 months earlier.

The moral of the story is your dick doesn't define who you are. You are the boss of your string bean. Don't let it control your persona or end you will end up in a lot of trouble or in jail singing jailhouse rock in C minor while the big dudes take turns raping your sorry ass.

Tip for all you mini cooper lads: Next time you go to a pub or party or somewhere, and you see a girl you like, gather up your confidence and start off by saying something provocative but at the same time something funny that won't make her think she is being insulted. Something like this perhaps, "Sweet lips you got there, I'm sure you can do some serious damage with them... tell me, you think you can handle me and my 25,400,000 nanometers penis.”

Final thought: If you feel small and insignificant in a world of giants, if you suffer from low self-esteem, and you want to curse God or nature for making you the way you are, then you most likely suffer from Small Penis Humiliation. Don't despair, you will die sooner than you think and it will all be over. Viva picollo uccello!
Posted at 8:03 AM
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