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add to watchlist drop watch go to watchlistBiggus Dickus
alt title(s): Penis Size
Hopefully, the Moral Guardians won't be offended by this depiction of a massive cock.
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
— Ezekiel 23:20, often called the dirtiest passage in The Bible.
The bigger the penis is, the better the sex is.
There. Now that that's out of the way, no idiotic snickering.
This assumption is a staple of modern fiction when it comes to Sex Tropes. It's the reason why Compensating For Something is, by its very nature, an insult- everybody knows that a real man has sex all the time. A heroic character, when his penis is mentioned (which isn't all that often, except by innuendo), will usually have a big one.
Consequently, this is also the reason why villainous or loser characters are portrayed as having a small penis. It's a deficiency that makes them bad people, or at least not cool like the heroes are. By further extension, Good People Have Good Sex, to some degree because they're usually well-endowed.
In Real Life, size is not everything. In fact, a sufficiently large penis (pretty much anything around the ten-inch zone) will actually hurt the receiver—there's no such thing as an O Ring Orifice. Unsurprisingly, most writers don't really think through the implications of having a penis this size penetrate someone whose hips might actually be smaller.
Fan Fic lemons have a tendency to exaggerate this trope to an even greater extreme. This is initially ironic when we consider that Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls, but makes sense when we consider that the girls in question rarely have sexual experience and as far as penis size goes, their only frame of reference is the commonality of Biggus Dickus in fiction. And as for the guys...yeah. The term "doomcock" (possibly coined by fandom-wank) is used in fanfic criticism circles to refer to such an appendage. Frequently the precise dimensions are given, which conjures up the image of the POV character getting out a tape measure mid-act.
See Gag Penis when this is done for laughs. For female breasts that are big, it's Most Common Superpower. In order for women to take most men of this nature, they'd also need an O Ring Orifice, doubly so for Yaoi Guys (or male/female anal sex). When a writer goes extreme, then they Fail Sex Education Forever.
Despite being the Trope Namer Monty Pythons Life Of Brian has nothing to do with this. See also IKEA Erotica.
Can be sometimes be taken to ridiculous lengths (ahem) by authors confused by the metric/imperial system, and basic mathematics. Particularly bad are fictional human penises with a circumference of 2 feet - meaning about 19 cm wide. Another common mistake is to confuse the terms "diameter" and "circumference". "Diameter" means "distance across"; "circumference" means "distance around". A penis 5 inches in circumference is roughly average. A penis 5 inches in diameter would be...Tell you what: if it's conveniant, grab a CD, DVD, or computer game disc. That's 4 inches in diameter. 4 inches equals 10 centimeters, which is the approximate average width that a woman's vagina stretches out to while giving birth. Again, that's the widest it should be expected to stretch. Look at that CD again; that's what a baby's head has to fit through. Dildos larger than this do exist, but are the rare exceptions, and perhaps unsurprisingly, are rather dangerous.
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Examples:
Anime and Manga
Roberto from Monster. If we are to believe the obese prostitute he was having sex with.
In the manga Gakuen Heaven (not the Yaoi Guys series, actually, but a different one that happens to have the same name and basically completely opposite subject matter; It's about a ronin teacher at an all girls' school), one of the antagonistic teachers has such a huge penis that getting an erection knocked him out cold because of all the blood rushing out of his head.
The male characters in Monzetsu usually have this. When they don't, the story makes up for it by having a lot of them. Or they use their arms.
Comics
When The Boys journey to Russia, they meet the ex leader of the Soviet superhero team The Glorious Five Year Plan, who went by the name of Love Sausage.
And just in case you didn't get the reference, the title of issue in which he takes up his old role as hero? Fifteen Inches of Sheer Dynamite
He can't run with an erection, which proves to be something of a problem when he and Hughie end up in a strip club. Big titties are his Kryptonite Factor.
Several characters in the Italian porn series Ramba. Slightly subverted it is shown as being painful to the women involved, and is sometimes used to deliberately torture them.
The supervillain known as the Hidden Salami in XXXenophile.
Fairy Tales
A collection of fairy tale porn. There was a magic cock ring that grew a man's endowment to a length of about half a league if she remembers correctly. He could only wear it partly on his finger in order to not cause irreperable damage to the woman he was with, and the woman's mother died in a tragic accident when she tried to sex him up in his sleep, and the ring slid all the way onto his finger...
One fairy tale had an extremely well endowed male character searching for a bride, no easy task considering his size. He finally found one and they decided to get married. Some time before the wedding they had a party, but they didn't have enough places for people to sit. The man unzipped his trousers and rolled out his member for people to use as a bench. When the bride to be entered the room, the man instantly got an erection, throwing the people who were using it as a bench into the roof, breaking their necks.
What.
What.
What?!
WHAT????!!!!!???!!
Fan Fic
The fanfic version of this trope, taken to its logical extreme. (The link doesn't go to the fic itself, just the fanfic-rants post about it. The fic itself, unfortunately, is Lost Forever.)
IT COULD GET ON DISNEY ATTRACTIONS BY ITSELF.
A post on Bad Roleplayers Suck: Adult about a birdman (capable of flight!) with genitalia almost the size of the whole rest of his body. When he tried to blackmail the princess of an asexual race into pleasuring him, she screamed at the unfamiliar sight and had her bodyguards break it off with giant wooden clubs.
In the fan-dubbed Fisting the North Star, one of the characters is named this. Naturally, it also abuses other sexual tropes.
A So Bad Its Horrible fanfic once featured a character with a twelve-inch penis. Not so bad... until you remember that this was a Redwall fanfic and the character in question was Cluny the Scourge, who looks like this◊. Admittedly Continuity Drift makes the animals change wildly between human and animal sizes from book to book, but he was in the first book, wherein they appear to be the same size as real animals (four hundred rats could fit in a horse-drawn cart, and a mouse fell and landed directly in a cat's mouth). So, since twelve inches would be roughly the same length as his whole body ... ow ow ow.
Then there was the Shrek 2 fic which was summarised by a friend of this troper with the sentence: "Horse. Thirty-six inches." To put that in perspective, very large horses can be about seventy-two inches at the shoulder. It's only a mercy more than half of a horse's height is taken up with leg so it wouldn't drag too much ...
And that isn't even enough for some horses....
A (generally surprisingly good) slash of Snow White includes a 30-foot-long dragon that enjoys being deep-throated by humanoid species, and using magic to reemerge from another orifice. It is shown as mostly uncomfortable for the recipient and undertaken only as an alternative to being eaten (not the fun way).
In Light And Dark The Adventures Of Dark Yagami, Dark, after becoming King of the Shinigami becomes as large as a bus and gets a "man thingy" twice the size of a bus. He apparently grows in size later, as it is possible to land a plane on his "man thingy." Even after he loses his status as Shinigami King, he still has an exceptionally large "man thingy."
..."man thingy."
Film
Young Frankenstein went into about half a dozen jokes going on about the monster's enormous schwanzstucker. Voof.
In Blazing Saddles, the hero actually manages to convert a seductress hired by the villain to the good guys sheerly by impressing her with his penis.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, ma'am, but you're sucking on my elbow.
Baby please, I am not from Havana.
Fifteen is my limit!
It's twoo. It's TWOO!
And later: "They said you was hung!" "And they was right."
Inverted in A Chinese Torture Chamber Story, where it's also a plot point: Gott has such an impossibly large penis that no woman will have sex with him. He's also a very nice guy, so he refuses to force his arranged wife to take it. Eventually, the size of his genitals and what happens to them are the single most important plot point. This movie is weird.
A Chinese thief has a literal horse penis transplant. Played for slapstick.
Inverted in one soft porn spoof of Gladiator where the Emperor of Rome is called "Dickus Minimus".
No! Too beaucoup! Too beaucoup!
Lady Snowblood averts this. When Genjiro reveals his gigantic penis, the reaction from Lady Snowblood is not adulation, but horror. Genjiro himself is aware of the implications of his large penis, noting that one that large will usually cause the receiving woman serious pain.
Gattaca feels the need to inform us that, despite his genetic "inferiority", Vincent has "beautiful equipment". This troper found it quite jarring.
It's a little more complicated than that: it's implied that Vincent has to use a prosthetic penis over his own, to hide the catheter that delivers Eugene's urine in the drug tests. The doctor running the tests and making the "beautiful equipment" comments is thus apparently gay, given his admiring comments... Until a final urine test that Vincent wasn't prepared for, where the doctor passes Vincent despite the computer revealing his true identity. The doctor turns out to have known all along about the falsehood and was sympathetic to Vincent because of his own son's genetic "imperfection." The doctor was literally complimenting Vincent's prosthetic, his "equipment," as well made all along.
...At what point ever did they imply that? Did you watch the right film?
Not sure myself, but I'm assuming he's referring to a DVD extra scene.
It's implied in the last scene with the doctor before Vincent goes into space. The doctor points out most right-handed men hold their penii with their right-hand, and Vincent—who was trying to pass as right-handed—instead held his penis with his left-hand when peeing.
Baseketball had Matt Stone and Trey Parker's characters appear nude before the Love Interest, and their dicks are so big that they touch the ground. She can't keep her eyes off them and keeps having Freudian slips when looking at them.
For the film Watchmen, the electric blue penis of the nearly-perpetually naked Doctor Manhattan. (Though it was not necessarily representative of Billy Crudup, who played the good doctor but was clothed the whole time. The doctor in his full magnificence was rendered via CGI in post production.)
Leading to many, MANY, snickers about the blue wang being a main character. The extended directors version contains more scenes involving said character. A scene with Dr. Manhattan walking towards the camera, his thighs batting himself back and forth proved a last straw for the studio, who then drew the line.
Snickers confirmed, since the good doctor was more modestly endowed in Moore's original comic.
Inverted in Superman Returns: Brandon Routh's crotch had to be digitally reduced because it was distracting. Let that sink in for a moment. He knows for sure he's more "super" than Superman.
Boogie Nights had Mark Wahlberg wearing a large prosthetic "stand-in" during nude scenes. The prosthetic then went on to win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor that year.
That's because the character he was playing had a large penis, which was a No Celebrities Were Harmed imitation of one who did.
Oh, really?
Showdown in Little Tokyo. They actually halt an action scene just so Brandon Lee can tell Dolph Lundgren "Just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you... You have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man!"
In Moulin Rouge, Ewan McGregor's character Christian is said to have a "Huge Talent". Apparently also Truth in Television.
What do you mean "apparently"? Watch Young Adam, you get loads of nice gratuitous close-ups of Little Ewan.
"I have an eleven-inch penis... around. Think about it...".
Parodied in You Don't Mess With The Zohan, where the main character is featured with a massive bulge in his pants. However he later shows to someone else that he merely cultivates a large amount of pubic hair (apparently it helps with the ladies) and the person observing it states "It's not that big".
In Alien Nation, apparently the Newcomers are(to quote Beavis) "hung like a horse". George at one point becomes confused by the purpose of condoms. Sykes, somewhat reluctantly, takes pity on his new partner and explains the contraceptives purpose, rolling one over his fingers to demonstrate how its supposed to be placed on the penis. George quizzically asks if the condom really fits, with Sykes answering that it's made of rubber and shows him that it stretches a great deal. George's response is a somewhat more quizzical "And it still fits?"
A failed groin attack also demonstrates the aliens' testes are differently located.
Pee Wee's first elated act in Porky's II, upon waking and recalling he'd scored at the end of the previous film, is to add a sharp (exaggerated) upward slash to his personal penis-growth chart. His mom soon finds the chart in his room, and her eyes bug out at the Biggus Dickus implications.
Referenced in Unforgiven; where "Real Life Adventure" writer W.W. Beauchamp meets the subject of many of his stories, Little Bill Daggett, who takes it upon himself to correct the writer on the history he has exaggerated in his books. One story involves another character by the name of "Two-Gun" Corcoran; who was killed in a gunfight because his pistol malfunctioned, and he didn't actually have another one.
Little Bill Daggett: First off, Corky never carried two guns. Though he should have.
W.W. Beauchamp: No, no, he was, he was called "Two-Gun Corcoran."
Little Bill Daggett: Yeah well, a lot of folks did call him "Two-Gun" but that wasn't because he was sporting two pistols. That was because he had a dick that was so big it was longer than the barrel of that Walker Colt that he carried.
Literature
Played straight in the BE Archive story Keeps The Autodoc Away, where a couple hack the titular Autodoc to "cure" them of being out of shape. Al tells the machine to, among other things, turn all his fat into an enormous penis, which he promptly wraps himself with to go show Betty, his wife. He later passes out from a seven-foot erection. Oh, and if it wasn't obvious enough, this link is not exactly safe for work.
Bigger is better for sexual characteristics is endemic in the BE community - the rationale presumably being that a guy needs to be keeping up if his girlfriend just got basket ball sized breasts.
The wildling called Longspear Rik from 'A Song Of Ice And Fire'. "But he fights with an axe..."
Hodor. Justified as he is freaking huge.
The Anita Blake series is guilty of this. At the extreme end, a character is mentioned as having one six inches...wide. And a foot long. Yes, a thigh-sized penis. Never mind that it would be a painful and bully-inducing handicap in real life...
Said character is derisively called 'Tripod' by fans and anti-fans alike.
And another character — considered to be merely "well-endowed" — was described in inches. Somebody measured that, and figured out that it would be the size of a two-liter soda pop bottle. And yet, we're supposed to think that a tiny woman can "handle" such a Biggus Dickus because she's simply that awesome.
Laurell K. Hamilton's second series begins (in sexual terms) pretty much where the Anita Blake series was at the time she started writing the new one. While the very concept of "too big to not hurt" is mentioned in both (the example above was being used as an example), the majority of the female (and male) characters can enjoy pain or outright insist on it. The concept of "big enough to kill a human woman" is also mentioned... but most of the females aren't human and can take a lot more damage. In the second series, when it comes to light that one man can be hung like a horse... literally... a woman is shown in misty-eyed regret that she never let herself experience that.
To be fair, it must be noted that the aforementioned misty-eyed woman is the main character's insane, sadistic aunt, who is shown to be heavily into BDSM.
In A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving, Owen Meany is extremely short (he was only accepted by the U.S. Army because the Vietnam War was happening and they were desperate), and yet it is, for some reason, mentioned that his penis is large.
When Michael Crichton wished to insult a critic, he put a character into his novel Next whose name was almost an exact namesake of the real critic. Both had almost exactly the same job, but the character was a child molester. With a small penis.
Harold Robbins has the men in his novels with large penises. One villain even had one so large that it was almost a defect.
In Please Kill Me, a book about the late 1960s counterculture and the birth of punk, one of the interviewees explains the reason for Jim Morrison's popularity. It wasn't his poetry, that's for sure.
After her first session with a new love interest, the heroine of John Varley's Steel Beach specifically references this trope when she bitches at length about the tendency of first time Female-to-Male gender benders to check off the "HUNG" option even though they'd all been girls themselves and really ought to know better.
In David Drake's Cross the Stars, "Mad Dog" Slade dismisses the notion that a large penis equals sexual prowess ("It's not the size of the tool, it's the skill of the workman") but not until after the author mentions that his army buddies briefly called him "Tripod" before an earlier nickname reasserted itself.
Jondolar of the Earths Children series spends much of Valley Of The Horses whining about how he can't find a woman who can take him at full length without pain. (Despite his otherwise legendary bed skills). The fact that Ayla could is one of the things that supposedly mark them as soulmates. Never mind that those who'd read the first book, Clan of The Cave Bear, know there's probably a not-so-wonderful reason Ayla can take him without complaint. His defining trait earned him the derisive Fan Nickname, "Jondolar The Wonder Penis".
Mario Puzo takes a rather large detour from describing the Corleone family saga in The Godfather to describe Sonny's large penis. The moment makes it into the movie as well if you're looking for it during the wedding scene - watch his wife's hand gestures carefully. However, this is one of the few realistic examples: Sonny's mistress is pretty excessive down there too, and needs vaginal reduction surgery later on, in order to have good sex with lesser men than Sonny.
Flashman is apparently quite impressive in the trouser department. On his way to an interview with the beautiful (and single) daughter of an Apache chief, Geronimo tells Flashy that it might go better if he had left his trousers off...
One of Larry Niven's characters in the Known Space universe is a rich thrillseeker nicknamed Elephant. For good reason. Or so his girlfriend claims.
Four of those procured for the main characters of the Marquis de Sade's 120 Days of Sodom are men selected entirely on the sizes of their penises. The best-endowed among them sports a member 13 inches long and 8.25 inches in circumfrence (2.6 inches in diameter).
In Robert A Heinlein's later books, for the adult readers, he was sure to mention that his male characters all had large penises. Along with their many other Mary Sue traits.
He also has a character mention that they think the penis on Michelangelo's David sculpture is too small, especially since Michelangelo was known for his love of male beauty.
Actually it is intentionally relatively small. David was thought of as a young man or boy in biblical references at the time. In non relative terms, it is quite large. This is a rare case of Heinlein getting his facts wrong.
There is an Arabian Nights-inspired story in which two illicit lovers earn a single wish each at the story's beginning. The hero uses his one wish for the obvious type of self-improvement, allowing him to better please his lover: a genie's human betrothed. When the genie and her father come to kill her lover, the bride-to-be uses a magical bag to reduce the hero's penis to near-microscopic size. Seeing this, the genie is so humiliated to have lost his bride to such a poorly-endowed man that he departs in shame. Disgusted, the father disowns his daughter, leaving her to whatever feeble pleasure she might gain from wedding the ill-equipped hero ... not realizing that she, too, has one wish left.
In one of Pu Songling's fairy tales, the protagonist is too well endowed for any (human) woman to handle safely. So then a werefox tries to seduce him, he is overjoyed. Alas, he proves too big even for the shapeshifting fox, and narrator quips about how chasing away werefoxes could become his profession.
Mocked in one of the Deathlands novels; Doc Tanner's Raised By Wolves sometime girlfriend Lori runs off and has an affair with a local bad boy. She then returns to the group, complaining that his big dick came with a small brain. Ryan drily remaks that he "hears that's often the way".
In Breakfast Of Champions, Kurt Vonnegut gives precise dimensions for the penises of all the major main characters. Not surprisingly, the largest by far is his own Creator Cameo. Of course, modern science was never quite sure what Vonnegut was on...
It's even weirder than that: he wrote his was five inches across, and three long. Of course, this is Post Modernism we're talking about here. I could just about say with a staight face that Vonnegut was deconstructing the notion of stuff having to make sense.
In the Red Dwarf novel: Better Than Life, in the Better Than Life simulation, Rimmer tries to invoke this trope by acquiring artificial bodies with bigger and bigger penises, to the point where they approach Gag Penis levels. Unfortunately, instead of improving his sex life, it simply reveal Rimmer's huge insecurities, a point he is forced to confront himself over when he sees Lister's humble but happy life.
In Snow Falling On Cedars, Carl Heine has a large penis. This is repeatedly emphasised, to the point when the coroner observing his dead body gets penis envy.
In The League Of Gentlemen's Apocalypse, Geoff Tipps writes himself into the screenplay for Show Within A Show The King's Evil, and specifically points out, a propos of nothing, that he has a big willie. In the screenplay, at least.
Live Action TV
Coupling's Patrick Maitlan had a sex toy molded after him coming in at about 10 inches.
Jeff: Even that bit?
Patrick: Especially that bit.
On said sex toy (although he had not realized that is what happened when an ex created it),
Patrick:She said it was her best ever model, said she'd never had to use so much material.
Steve: Yeah, yeah. We know.
Jeff: There's big, there's balance problem...
Steve: And there's bazooka man.
This is actually used as psychological warfare by Sally to break up a bad date. She sends Patrick into the bathroom after him...
Sally's Date: Oh, well. You know what women always say.
Patrick: "Ouch"?
On The X-Files, Mulder and Scully come across a Literal Genie and learn that her previous "owner" had died because he wished himself one of these.
Chronic morbid tumescence.
Subverted in an episode of Sex And The City. Samantha hooks up with a guy who warns her that he has an enormous penis. She is excited at first... until she sees it. When they do have sex, it turns out that it's too huge for her to take.
Played straight in the cult French-Canadian series "Dans une galaxie près de chez vous". Card Carrying Villain Scientist Brad Spitfire is revealed to have a small penis after being hit by a naked ray (A beam which sole purpose is to render people naked), prompting Petrolia to exclaim "Wow, the nose really is in proportion to..." before being cut off. On the other hand, when the Captain is accidentally turned into a baby after spending too much time on a time-bomb planet, Valence comments, while changing him, that he's very well equipped for his age.
In Green Wing Martin, judging by the reactions to the nude portrait Sue White keeps in her office, has a large one.
David Spade's character in Just Shoot Me was seen naked in a sauna by his boss. The boss later described it as "Have you ever seen a small tree with one very large branch?" If this troper remembers correctly, his character dated supermodels.
David Spade himself has been known to cavort with a supermodel or two. Maybe the incident is based on a true story?
The entire fucking premise of the new series Hung.
Music
This is part of Ivor Biggun's bread and butter. Probably the most blatant case is "John Thomas Allcock". To quote the chorus:
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world
He keeps it in his trousers tightly curled.
It's a yard and a half if it's an inch and it's more when it's unfurled, oh oh
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world.
Honorable mentions go to "I've Got a Monster" and "The Cockerel Song".
Kid Rock: "Devil Without a Cause"
Joe C.: "The Ladies' pick / I'm a crazy hick! / Three-foot-nine with a ten-foot-dick!"
whenever life gets you down...
"My meat is murder"
Dos Gringos 12-Inch Penis, about a fighter pilot trying very hard to relieve his bladder while flying an F-16.
Bonus points for said pilot flying 'hands-off' at one point, especially since the F-16's flight stick isn't between the pilots legs- it's actually on the right-side of the cockpit in the armrest...
The British folk song "The Knife In The Window" is about a man with a "long fol-the-riddle-i-do right down to his knee."
Mickey Avalon! My Dick "is like supersize"; your dick "is like two fries." It gets better (or worse) from there.
Porn
Everywhere in porn. Male porn stars can't have less than seven inches. There's blah-blah about how a girl becomes "ruined" for other men and only the guy with the big dick can satisfy her now. And the racial stereotype of "black guys are bigger than white guys (who are bigger than Asian guys)" gets exploited for all its worth: "Once you go black, you'll never go back..."
This troper has heard a porn director say that this is actually necessary for practical reasons. Without an abnormally large member it's hard to film properly.
It seems that the camera doesn't always add ten pounds.
Dohohoh.
The black guy thing is parodied in The Amateurs, where a group of people creating a porn movie want a scene with black guys with big penises on a white girl...only to find out the black guys thery hired don't have big penises.
Watch enough porn and you'll see guys with penises approaching closer to average length. The minimum requirements of male talent really are ridiculously small, in all senses.
In the Lolita Core pornography series, the guys are typically about two feet long, and proportionately thick. The gals don't seem to have any trouble.
John Holmes was credited to be the "largest" man in the industry.
His case shows that the bigger is not neccessarily the better; due to his extraordinary size, he was unable to achieve a full erection. His co-stars have stated that his penis was never particularly hard during intercourse, likening it to "doing it with a big, soft kind of loofah."
Much of the works featured on the Hentai Foundry website have these. Many Characters are usually depicted having at least one improbably large... thing. And not just the men.
Tabletop Games
The infamous RPG FATAL. Let's just say this trope affects your character sheet.
On a similar note the infamous 'Lidda and the Ogre' D&D fanfic...
GURPS has a feature for males called "enhanced primary sexual characteristictics".
In the Shadowrun game, a magician's astral body conforms to his or her "idealized self-image". This made for an amusing scene in the Shadowrun novel Burning Bright, when mage Kyle Teller appears to two female characters in his naked astral body. Comparison to rumors about male trolls, orks, and "even dwarfs" follow.
Web Comics
In Boy Meets Boy, Mikhael's "freakishly large" penis is supposedly the main reason why his and Harley's sex life is so good, which in turn seems to be one major reason why their relationship is so good. It's really best not to over-analyze this comic.
I Read That As Boy Meets World. You owe me a replacement coke.
Ellen from Questionable Content apparently worried about sex since her only experience was watching porn about guys with a case of Biggus Dickus. Her boyfriend worries about what she'll think of his in comparison, and she tells him she's relieved since it looked painful.
Rayne Summers from Least I Could Do claims to be at about 18 inches.
If you don't get this XKCD comic, say his wish out loud.
Which is itself the logical inversion of the old saw about a hard-of-hearing Literal Genie and a twelve-inch pianist.
Have you heard the one about the man with the 11" cigarette lighter?
xkcd also has this (maybe NSFW) to say.
When Sluggy Freelance did a Voldemort parody, it recreated the scene where he goes from a shriveled infant to a grown man. Torg's response?
Torg: Are you sure you did the spell right? Why is his wee-wee still baby-sized?
Jason from Something Positive may be both a use and subversion of this trope. One one hand, it could explain his inexplicable popularity with the ladies (prior to his marriage), but the only woman we've actually seen reacting to it onscreen responded with an expression of terror and the words "Uh, Jason? Could you please put that big ... thing back in your pants? It hurts my pelvis to look at it."
Jason's popularity with the ladies actually is explained: A formula (apparently involving Calculus) that guarantees that any person can use, no matter what their income, appearance, social status, or other factors, to get laid on a regular basis.
It was only mentioned that he was attempting to assemble this formula. This troper is pretty sure it was never demonstrated as actually working.
Web Original
Occurs in the Whateley Universe to the character Phase. She's a guy who was turned into a girl, but her 'equipment' did not change, and is in fact getting BIGGER. Also, Chad/Merry/Paige/Petra suffers from this, except that s/he has both sets of equipment.
Averted in the Ask Sara section of the forum, where it is stated, bluntly, that no, a big dick does not cause better sex, and YES, it can be painful if it's too big. And people neglect Girth. (According to Sara, there's no difference from about 4-12 inches.) Three inches girth is good. (Lower than 4, no G-spot.)
Three inches girth is still way above average (considering the average circumference is ~5.5 inches, and 3 inches girth would be a circumference of ~9.5 inches).
Western Animation
Family Guy's Chris is also three-legged, much to the dismay of plantain-sized (or more accurately bananito-sized) Peter.
Brock Samson from The Venture Bros, going along with his unparalleled manliness, is shown (through a towel) to have an impossibly large penis.
Col. Bud Manstrong:: Is there a Smurf living in there?
Parodied in Drawn Together countless times, though the most notable is the shower scene with Captain Hero and the villainous Termonator spoof. The censor bar covering Captain Hero's penis is relatively small, while the Termonator's reaches down to his knees.
This is actually subverted if you watch episodes of the uncensored DVD versions - usually the censor bar for penises is several times larger than how it's actually drawn uncensored.
Similarly, when Homer makes a dating video for Ned in one episode of The Simpsons, Homer had evidently added generous pixellation to the shot of Ned showering.
Real Life
Milton Berle?
Apparently, President Lyndon Baines Johnson had a really big, er... johnson.
He called it "Jumbo" and was known to show it off at any provocation, including waving it at a group of reporters when they asked why we were still in Vietnam. (This was back when the press did their best to protect the honor of the President, obviously...)
That makes the Australian slogan of the time supporting the Vietnam War "All the way with L-B-J" kind of disturbing...
Ron Jeremy
Patrick Stewart
Those who get off on the size of their partner's endowment are generally termed "size queens." Without an actual O Ring Orifice, to accommodate the biggest guys, they might take poppers to completely relax the muscles of various orifices for a few minutes. The more you know...
Oddly enough, one study found that the majority of women who are into large sizes tend to be relatively petite, mostly 5' 2'' and under. I can't speak as to the scietific rigorousness of said study, as it was carried out by a group called "the Hung Jury".
John Holmes.
David Duchovny
The Greeks actually Inverted this trope to hell and back. They thought that a small penis was a sign of virility. A large one, they just thought was crude, or funny.
So that's why Mars is so small!
Willem Dafoe's on-stage nudity is reputed to have caused gasps of amazement and delight.
Tommy Lee.
Porfirio Rubirosa Ariza - Dominican playboy; described as eleven inches long as thick as a man's wrist—and to this day the extra-long pepper mills in French bistros are called "Rubirosas."
David Bowie, whose crotch (a.k.a. "the Area") has become a Memetic Badass.
Brandon Routh, see above
Roddy McDowall
Errol Flynn
Frank Sinatra
Jimi Hendrix, according to his groupies.
Cyntha Plastercaster (a groupie who made plaster casts of rock stars' genitals) stated that Hendrix's cast was the largest of them all. She dubbed the cast "Penis DeMilo".
Colin Farrell
Horses' genitalia can be several feet long.
As shown on a particularly nasty Shock Site.
Popular urban legend has it, that bank robber John Dillinger had a large member, and after he was shot, it was cut off, and preserved in the Smithsonian institute.
This troper. Yeah.
Bullshit. Pics or STFU.
This troper would like to point out that a bigger member does not equal better sex. In fact, average guys tend to be better in bed, since they're less *ahem* cocky and are likely to have more tricks than "Ram until I climax."
Also worth pointing out that there is such a thing as too big. Too wide can actually hurt some girls, and longer than 8 ot 9 inches is pointless, because it won't all go in anyway.
Both Elephants and Walruses have large genitals. Elephants have approximately four foot long, walruses have nearly five-foot long.
The former is expected, but the latter is YIKES.
Watching walruses (walri?) masturbate at Sea World is something this troper will never forget, as hard as she tries. Where did I leave that Brain Bleach?!
Miscellaneous
There exists an MP 3 with Drey Carey entitled 101 Big Dick Jokes. Some of the memorable ones:
My dick is so big Stephen Hawking's got a theory about it.
My dick is so big there was once a movie called Godzilla vs My Dick.
My dick is so big I have to call it "Mr. Dick" in front of company.
My dick is so big it can chew gum. (WTF?)
Referring to Chew Bubblegum??
My dick is so big it's got its own dick, and even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
Part of his old stand-up routine addressed this as well. "You shouldn't be able to be good-looking AND have a big dick; it needs to be one or the other. Look at Ron Jeremy. That's fair."
Ron White has jokingly described his member as only being a few inches long, but about eighteen inches in diameter, "Like a cheese wheel!"
There once was a man from Nantucket...
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